
It's the perplexing behavior of a person, usually close to you, that makes you feel like
you're the one going crazy. Also known as Passive-aggressive behavior. A few people in my life come to mind when I think of crazy making behavior and/or passive-aggressive behavior. I've been reading a lot of articles on the subject lately, so as to know better how to deal with these people and come out of these relationships SANE! One such
article from Prevention magazine states that passive-aggressive people "aren't hostile one moment and then kind the next. Instead, they perform the maddening trick of being both at the same time." They never learned the right way to convey anger and hostility, and learned "tricks" in their childhood to couch their feelings in excuses, blame, forgetfulness, back-handed humor or sarcasm. Worse yet, if not called on it, they continue these tricks into adulthood wrecking relationships along the way.
To quote the article "He's so uncomfortable with self-assertion that he tries to get his way by doing nothing. By allowing others to take charge, he leaves himself only one option for getting what he wants: sabotage." They say one thing and then deny they ever said it because they don't want to be held to their word, because they didn't want to do whatever "it" was in the first place. It's this behavior that makes me want to smack my head against a brick wall when dealing with certain people in my life. I think it would be an awfully exhausting life to live--constantly undermining one's self. They often don't feel appreciated and say that they haven't done anything wrong, trying to pass blame onto you. Making you the "bad guy".
Unless you know how to react the right way: Nix the guilt; it's
their problem! Don't let them get away with it; confront them about their dishonesty. And then try to create an atmosphere in which they'll feel comfortable sharing their feelings with you. Something that I've been working on, within myself, for the last year or so.
These articles got me thinking about teachings from the Savior and about forgiveness, accountability & the power of our words. My mind raced as I remembered talks and lessons and even though it seems a bit scrambled and rambling, I think the common thread is Choice.
Thomas S. Monson, in a conference talk, said "Let us not find ourselves as indecisive as is Alice in Lewis Carroll’s classic Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. You will remember that she comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. She is confronted by the Cheshire cat, of whom Alice asks, “Which path shall I follow?”
The cat answers: “That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.”"
We can choose not only our actions but also our words and thoughts. In a talk by Jeffrey R. Holland, he said:
"Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail. .....
"In all of this, I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable."
We can learn great and simple lessons from children too, they being so close to the spirit themselves. The other day Emma was goofing around and Sarah said to her "You're crazy!" to which Emma emphatically said "I'M NOT CRAZY! AND IT'S MY CHOICE!" Summed up very well, I thought.